Love & Logic tips . . . . .

PCK Preschool & Junior Kindergarten uses Love and Logic to guide student's behavior. Here are a few tips from the Love and Logic website for parents of preschoolers.

How to Make Mornings Easier

Getting young children out the door on time each morning can be a hair-raising experience. Listed below are some tips for taking the mayhem out of the morning routine:

• Have "practice mornings" when you're not in a hurry. Try it on the weekend.
• Make a guide for them by taking pictures of them doing all the things they need to do in the morning the posting them in a common area (IE on the refrigerator).
• Set limits with enforceable statements. Here are some examples: "Breakfast will be on the table until the timer goes ding." "I give treats to kids who brush their teeth." "My car is leaving in just a little while. Will you be going with your clothes on your body or your clothes in a bag?"
• Enforce these limits with plenty of loving empathy. This may mean taking your child to preschool in their pajamas or by expecting them to pay you for taking them to school when they are late. Hint: If you think you may need to take your child to school with their clothes in a bag, call the school and let them know ahead of time.
  
  
  
  

Temper Tantrums

All young children have an occasional temper tantrum to see if their parents will give-in to their demands. The key to handling this noxious behavior is to remain calm and to prove to them that you aren't going to back-down. Oftentimes, the most effective response takes advantage of humor. Experiment with the following options:

• The next time your child has a tantrum, keep on truckin'. Walk away, turn the corner, and peek around it. Make sure your child can't see you. There are few things more fun than seeing a small child who's beginning to realize that their fits aren't exciting enough to get them any extra attention.
• Encourage the art form. When your child begins a meltdown, put a bored look on your face and say, "Nice tantrum, but I think you are losing your touch. Last time you screamed a lot louder and kicked your feet a lot harder. I'm really disappointed. Show me how it's really done. Give me your best. Come on."
  
  
  

  You can find more techniques in the Early Childhood Package at www.loveandlogic.com

Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.

Dr. Charles Fay

Responding to Bad Grades

Billy's mother had committed the unthinkable sin of saying "no" to his request for a slingshot. Shortly after his pleading and whining failed, Billy switched to a new tactic.

It was time to study his spelling words and he refused. "I'm not studying! I don't care. I hope I get an F. I hope I get all F's forever!"

Mom was tempted to argue, but she took care of herself. In the process, she reminded herself that his grades are his grades…not hers:

Whose problem is this? HIS. What will probably happen if he doesn't study? He may do poorly on HIS test tomorrow.

Instead of fighting, she empathized, "Sounds like you're upset," and walked into the kitchen.

Before school the next morning, her beloved Billy asked her, "Are you ready for some F's?" Mom just smiled and answered, "I'll love you whatever grades you decide to earn."

Billy blew his spelling test.

When his mother discovered the gory grade, she got a slightly sad look on her face - not the crazed enraged one Billy hoped for. Then she asked him how he felt about HIS grade.

"I don't know. Not good, I guess."

Billy's attempt to manipulate and punish Mom had failed. He tried his best to hook her into his problems, but she dodged the bullet with a nice dose of empathy.

Wise parents remember that the more upset they get over their children's grades, the less likely that their kids will begin to get better ones. In our DVD, Hope for Underachieving Kids, my father and I discuss a step-by-step plan for helping kids like Billy learn to reward themselves with good grades, instead of punishing their parents with bad ones.

Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.

Dr. Charles Fay